


Self-Insert

by cryogenia



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dream Bubble Sex (Homestuck), Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Vaginal Fingering, Watersports, a little bit of self discovery, and cat puns, and fake linguistics about multiple alien languages, but primarily human style genitalia, copious amounts of fish puns, some other xeno referenced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-07-03 05:06:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15811989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryogenia/pseuds/cryogenia
Summary: As the Mage of Heart, Meulin takes her quad-matching responsibilities very seriously in the dream bubbles, yet she's never had much luck with her own needs.  When a new source of 'ins-purr-ation' reveals itself, she discovers why.She's written so much for others, but she's never tried a self-insert.





	Self-Insert

**Author's Note:**

  * For [redglares_hot_butt](https://archiveofourown.org/users/redglares_hot_butt/gifts).



_ The alien tilted her head like a barkbeast and perked her adorable oval ears forward [do they swivel? Or flap? RESEARCH THIS] _

_ She unbuttons [unzips?] her day-gown slowly, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of tattooed [thorax?  back? where do those lines end up mog??] _

_ She snapped out of her reverie _

_ MOG I HATE ALL OF THESE ꉂ ^`o´^ ) _ _ ✧  _

Meulin tore out the latest page in her notebook and folded it in half, then half again, not ready to give up but still itching to shred. She settled for tossing it over her shoulder and ripping up a fistful of grass. 

She’d started the same fic three times three different ways and all of them grated. Pairing, tense, none of it was sticking. She’d get a paragraph in and change concept or write one sentence and stop halfway. Writers or cats, neither should leave their clause hanging out, and while she would normally circle and double-star that line, she was too furr-ustrated to jot down the turn of phrase.

In the midst of her waffling, her muses had escaped.

Meulin flopped back against the tufty grass, staring up at two versions of the pink moon, one of them full and very deeply detailed, the other half-full in a strange position, missing all but one of its craters. Like a wriggler’s drawing of a night sky, colored flat with shitty pencils. This zone was a mixture of Kankri and Mituna’s memories, and some places it showed in the details. Kankri might be cute, but Meulin got the sense he hadn’t gone outside much in life.

They’d all started the night (day? time was so weird-y in the bubbles, mog) here, theoretically to have a barbeque, and it should have been a prime opportunity to do some research. Latula and Mituna were canon as ever, but Porrim had been leaning pale at Mituna, which had Kankri all puffed up in his sweater. He claimed he wasn’t interested in quads, but mog, he had been spitting fuchsia when Porrim bandaged Mituna’s scraped knee! He was  _ so _ clearly pining for her, maybe even waxing pitch for Mituna. They’d had a big row about ‘unhealthy power structures inherent to their small group dynamic’ and the ‘inability to provide informed consent in pseudo-caretaking relationships’, and okay, Meulin might not have any clue what the talking points were because her yap-to-text app had a hard time keeping up with Kankri’s ranting speed, but she was pretty sure it translated to jealousjealousjealous. 

Then Porrim had gotten between them with a super-hot ashen _kabe-don_ and m.o.g. Meulin hadn’t cared about that ot3 much in the past but it was rapidly climbing the ‘grid. Kankri and Mituna pinned against a wall, looking up all vulnerable at a big, buff girl? It was like, _mog,_ _let someone in_!  Pure clubs fodder.  Meulin had sketched them three places in her notes and put extra detail especially on Kankri’s expression. The way he’d squirmed was an extra guilty pleasure.

Then Latula turned around and suddenly -- like so often in this strange, dreamy place -- everything snapped back into the same, tired pattern.

Step one: Latula, blinking and shifting her stance from ‘fuck a bitch up’ to ‘chill conciliatory r4d girl’. Which didn’t make sense because normally Latula would kick someone’s tail for laying hands on ‘Tuna’!  Latula had once been moirails with Porrim though, so apparently that memory had somehow kicked in. 

And from there, step two: wash, rinse, repeat. Porrim had looked irritated, but whatever Latula had said calmed the situation right down. Flawless auditory papping. Latula had also taken Mituna’s hand and laughed at something Kankri said, and he’d gone all shy and nibbling at his sweater. And something in Meulin’s thoracic cavity had shriveled right up, because mog. They’d been so close to  _ trying something new _ ! 

Latula was hot. Porrim was hot. Kankri was hot, even if he didn’t know it. And Mituna was sort of gross, but Latula and Porrim liked him, and Kankri might like him too if he ever got his shit together. The problem was these stupid ghost memories!  Whenever they got triggered - and the weirdest things could do it - it was like the story rewrote itself around them. Scenery, plot direction, even character interactions. It was so hard to overcome the inertia of whatever you remembered from your real life. Sometimes Meulin wondered why she even  _ bothered. _

...and mog, she needed to get off her mopey tail!!!  That kind of thinking was  _ exactly  _ how the bubble got you. Rip some ‘nip, chillax, just coast through your afterlife. Outline a bunch of fics but never actually write them. If she wanted to break out of her own pattern, she needed to dig her claws in and get to work.  

Because yeah, character development was hard here, but that didn’t mean it was impossible. You had to start by seeing what could be possible. Maybe with a little inspiration from a steamy, smexy scene.  She had helped more than a few quads break out of the rut by showing them her WIPs. 

Come to think of it, maybe her current fic would go better if she started with a fresh setting. Maybe  _ she _ was stuck in part because  _ she _ remembered that last one all too well: watching some friends talk (and forget to slow down for her translator, mog!), sketching out the drama, but failing to intervene. She’d smoked a lot of ‘nip in the old days and sometimes her pan was still fuzzy. Maybe she needed to change it up for herself. 

Meulin flipped to a blank page and begin to  _ write _ .

_ The rainbow realm was one of the great mysteries of the bubbz Latula thought, clutching her new waterslat across her ample hips. She’d never been body surfing before, but a r4d girl never backed down from a challenge. Especially when there was a pretty troll she wanted to ride instead... _

All around her, the world as Meulin knew it shivered, then gradually slipped away.

It started with the broadest things, cascading from hivestems to the small lawnring closest to her. The dreamscape wiggled like prey shifting beneath the soil as the grey of Kankri’s dream sky vanished completely, replaced by an unnatural blue. The Rainbow Realm was the newest setting she’d discovered in her prowls through the bubbles, a captivating ruin in the middle of an ocean. It had etched itself into her pan so vividly just a few lines were enough to take her back. 

‘Vivid’ being the key word. The sky here was teal as Latula’s eyes but tweaked to a saturation no midblood could ever reach. The sea was even more brilliant, a plate of cyan tinged impossibly with magenta. Each gentle wave that crested flashed briefly of electric yellow, then magenta, then shimmered white before subsuming, on and on without end.

Meulin kicked off her shoes and sunk her toes into sand made from pure glitter. She took a deep breath, indulging in the rhythmic thrum of the surf through her feet. The air tasted electric but lightning never fell here. The scattered neon clouds simply rained without end on the horizon, more offspectrum yellows and cyan and magentas in gentle showers. It smelled like a Land, but none they had ever seen in their own game.

_IDEA: rainbowdrinker AUs??_ _ヽ_ _(=^-ω-^=)_ _ﾉ_ she scribbled in the margins. Or maybe alien!fic?  She’d caught glimpses of them flitting about the rectangular hive higher up on the island. Adorable, defenseless near-trolls with funny square teeth and bizarre fuzz all over their bodies. She desperately wanted to pounce on one and see if it was as soft as it looked. 

No aliens were visible right now though, nor did she know any of them well enough to describe them in detail. Even if she did, there was no guarantee they’d turn up. Writing about trolls she knew seemed to make them more likely to wander by (mog, she’d gotten  _ so _ good at snapping her notebooks shut!) but otherwise her fics never appeared to overwrite their narratives the way the bubble did.

Which was good. Meulin...had weird-y feelings about pan control in fic; she would rather not do it for real with her laserpen.

Meulin sketched a quick inspiration-pic of surfer!Latula instead, wiggling her toes into the squishy sand closer to the surf. She’d reached for Latula instinctively because mog, her thick thighs would look so good in a wetsuit. Tighten up the lines of her skate gear and extend the color scheme. Full body teal with off-spectrum red stripes painting the contours of her legs, swooping up and in to highlight the soft jut of her mons. Mm, and her sign-color would turn so much darker when wet…

_ NOTE: ‘latula in a wetsuit’ needs to go in the olive book  _ _ (=ච ﻌ ච=) _

Latula wouldn’t be able to smell the salty air like Meulin did, but maybe it could ‘sting at her ganderbulbs’. And who should Latula be trying to impress?  Porrim, definitely Porrim. Meulin was feeling vaguely concupiscent but Mitula was already canon. And if she thought about that strife earlier -- the way it could have gone, if a dreamspasm hadn’t gotten in the way -- it should have been  _ Latula _ flipping Porrim into a revenge  _ kabe-don _ . ‘Prongs off my matesprit’ growl and all that. They were both so fierce and muscular and powerful, yet deep down you could tell they also respected each other. 

Hadn’t she seen Porrim take Latula aside one time and tell Latula that she should knock off the r4ttitude?  In the right light that could be pale, or it could be a kismesis challenging their partner to  _ do better _ . Be better, because they were a worthy rival, and what was the point of a rival if not to see each other grow?  

Yes, yes,  _ yes! _

Meulin hugged her notebook to her chest and did a full body butt-wiggle in the sand. Mog, bless this setting. The daycore aesthetic was perfect for Porrim. Surfing was right for Latula. Just being here was personally inspiring, and now Meulin would actually break out of her rut and finish a fic, and then --

A silvery flash winked at the corner of her vision and Meulin whipped her head to orient to it, nostrils flaring. The shimmer of light blinked again somewhere beneath the waves and she rolled onto all fours instinctively, shoving her notebooks away. She wasn’t hungry exactly -- no one had gotten properly hungry for perigees -- but she could remember hunger well enough. If she thought about it she could conjure that gnawing in her tummy that would make a fish purrfectly hit the spot. 

And alien fish!  She hadn’t seen any signs of life in her previous ventures, nor had she tried to write any Beforan species in. Maybe this wasn’t a fin-creature as she knew it?  Now that she was watching closely, there was a broad swath of disturbance in the water. A large section of the breakers was ripping in an unnaturally sharp v, like something big was moving quickly just beneath the surface. 

If she rose up on her haunches she could almost make out a shape!!  A fuzzy-alien? A pinniporpoise?? She wasn’t sure if she should take notes or sketch!

Two lines of magenta wake erupted on the surface as a pair of troll-yellow horns breached and mog. Not a fish, but a Fish, and Meulin knew those curvy horns!  Mog mog MOG!!! She sprung to her feet and jumped up and down, spraying residual sparkle-sand everywhere.

“MEENAH!” Meulin yelled. Nasal vibration and pull the lips back, then tongue behind the fangs and drop the lower jaw. No idea if she’d quite hit the vowels, but who cared!  No one had seen Meenah in ages and they hadn’t even been sure she’d survived the explosion. Not that, er, it hadn’t been Meenah’s fault that there  _ was _ an explosion but!  They were all sort-of alive despite the universe being dead and anyway nobody was getting culled anymore. Meulin could say words to hearing trolls if she wanted and she wasn’t going to have her accent critiqued by obnoxious medicoddlers.

Meulin waved both her arms like she was flagging down a scuttlebus just in case her enunciation wasn’t working out.

“Meenah, I missed you sooooo much!” 

Except the closer the horns got, the less she was sure this was  _ her  _ Meenah. In fact, she wasn’t sure they were a Meenah at all. A thick blanket of gorgeous wavy hair billowed back beneath the water, obscuring the troll well past their waist. Which was adorned with a long-tailed skirt that Meulin couldn’t imagine Meenah wearing. Beautiful bangles glinted from every limb, which must have been the flashes Meulin saw earlier, but they were all a simple solid gold. Meenah had always worn rubellite gems to ‘rep the spec’. And Cronuses didn’t wear any bling because they wanted to show off how ‘egalitarian’ that made them. 

(Ugh, the less said about Amporas, the better.)

Meulin slowed her wave gradually, not sure if she should get her claws ready or not. Some of the trolls she’d encountered from other sessions had not exactly been so nice.

A cyan-yellow-magenta rainbow burst forth in a dazzling spray as the stranger hit the true shallows and leapt all the way to her feet. Water cascaded all around her, down her ample shoulders, through her dark train of hair, and m.o.g.

This wasn’t a second-instar troll, like the adorable little AU!Latula Meulin had once found bouncing around a treehouse.

This was a glorious, fully adult sea dweller with fins for  _ perigees _ and hips that would inspire their own red fandom and mog, Meulin was going to ghost-die, if that was even a thing. She could. Not. What even was even. 

The sea dweller waved in big enthusiastic swipes and mog, Meulin needed to roll her tongue up and respond.

“Hi!!  Nice to meet you!!!” she signed before she realized what she doing. Oh well, at least the ‘hi’ part was mutually intelligible. It was basically a less excited wave. 

Meulin held up a finger with an apologetic wince (most trolls understood that as ‘bear with me a second’) and then scrambled for her notebook and laserpen. She pawed for a free page, but before she could write anything, the sea dweller began to  _ sign _ .

“Hi Y-O-U-R-S-H-E-L-L-F!!!  My name’s F-E-F-E-R-I!!”

Completely.

Unable.

To.

Can.

Meulin rocked up on the balls of her feet and shoved her notebook beneath one arm.

“M-O-G you sign??” 

The sea dweller’s shoulders shook and her fins wiggled with them. Her giggle looked so cute!

“We A-L-L-W-A-V-E-S do under the water!  At least where I come from?”

Meulin nodded. She could see that!  Come to think of it, her own schoolfeeds had mostly been taught by sea dwellers. Maybe if she’d lived closer to the water, she would have made so many furr-ends!  Or maybe things were different in the AU!Beforus the strange trolls had come from. Some of AU!Latula’s stories had been um. Really Not-Safe-For-Pupa or really, anyone who didn’t want daymares.

Also, ‘Feferi’ (mog, Fe-FURRY??) signed rather slower and more emphatically than Meulin was used to. When she finger-spelled her (adorable!) ocean quirks, it was like she kept expecting there to be resistance in the way. It accidentally made her seem over-emphatic about everything but that was okay!!  Meulin could tell her all about being ‘too enthusiastic’. 

“Not many of my furr-ends do,” Meulin said, slowing down in case the other troll wasn’t used to her speed. “I learned when I was almost third molt though. So I know Imperial Standard too.”

She tapped her notebook. 

“I can write, if that’s easier.”

“Either W-A-V-E!  As long as my quirk isn’t too SEAL-ly.”

Meulin shook her head. The sea dweller’s grammar was a little different than she was used to, but so far it was intelligible. It seemed like when Feferi made a pun that was based on sounds she was automatically adding a translation. “Seal-ly” she spelled out and then flicked her fins and followed with a clown-nose sign in the right motion for ‘ridiculous’. Seal-ly = “silly”. Cute!

“We’re scratching up the same arboreal pole there,” Meulin grinned. She drew her prongs up and pawed the air for good measure.

Feferi brushed her wet bangs back and tucked a few curls behind her horns. The bases were so thick it would be a challenge to get a hand around them. Mog, imagine the pheromone glands!  Meenah had a rack nearly that big but Meulin hadn’t seen it (or Meenah) irl very often. Even less now that they were dead.

Those horns were definitely going in some kind of palefic. Maybe even a  _ palestar AU _ . 

“Do you like writing?” Feferi asked. “I sea you out here a lot.” 

That one was a different pun style that took Meulin a moment to get. Part of it was that Feferi seemed to repeat her subjects. So that sentence went ‘ **I** you many-times ocean/see  **I** ’. A ‘double-ended’ 2x3dent quirk?  Or some difference between their universes? Meulin stumbled a little to recover because. Feferi just kept smiling at her, all glistening horns and light, and those needle teeth looked so sharp but those soft curves didn’t quit.

Mog, she pawndered what quadrants Feferi had filled. It wasn’t like Meulin had any but Farcebook: iT’s CoMpLiCaTeD.

“I’m trying to get back into it!” Meulin said. “Mostly fanfic right now. Fur fun.”

She didn’t have to mention the part where she was trying to get her fics to be canon. Not everyone was into them, and that was okay!  Like mog...as much as she as much as she wanted to shout to the bubbles about ashen Kanportuna, Kankri just wasn’t comfortable and she wasn’t going to press him. Kankri made her to write hashtags all over the covers before he’d sit next to her notebooks, and even then he got squirmy looking at the tags. It was going to be a while (if ever) before she could sit down with him, Porrim, and Mituna to talk about what she saw between them.

“‘Back’ into it?” Feferi asked.

“...the game,” Meulin said. She grimaced. “I couldn’t write for a while, everything was so  _ busy _ .  And exciting! Not in a good way. I don’t think I appreciated how good it was when drama stayed on the internet.”

Feferi waded a few feet out of the waves, shaking her head slightly. Little rivulets of water trickled down between her legs, dripping from the front edges of her split skirt. Meulin tried not to stare. 

“Believe me, I eel you,” Feferi said. “I’m so glad we can fin-ally relax. Meet new trolls!  Make friends!  _ Move on _ !”

That last sentence was a little more forceful than even Feferi’s usual firm cadence and oh, the Heart senses were tingling!  Meulin’s fingers itched to take notes. 

“ _ Charming, breathtakingly gorgeous fuchsia seems troubled by a quad experience in her past. When a chance beach-side meeting introduces her to someone new, will she have the courage to fall again? _ ”

(Mogmogmog but would she dare, friendfic is one thing but  _ an actual self-insert _ ???)

Feferi only seemed to get taller the further she rose from the surf, the twin tails of her skirt floating back behind her like a purrmaid. The waves kept knocking against her legs yet she didn’t falter.

It was possible Meulin was blepping. It was possible she didn’t give a sniff.

“And are you looking to meet someone?” Meulin asked, fingers shaky. Oh no, was that too much?  Not enough? She didn’t think it was a pawful line but she also couldn’t go back and edit in real life. Afterlife. Whatever.

Feferi actually dipped her head in response, rounding her shoulders in an adorable little shrug.

“I’m trying,” she said. “Apparently, I’m not very good at it.”

“Mog, please tell me you’re current on your Mimes cause I have about fifteen I want to hit you with and they all say ‘LIES’.”

Feferi peeked back up, grinning from fin to fin. She had such an infectious smile. And the radiance of her ghost-eyes made the rims of her fuchsia goggles glow.

“I  _ am _ bad at it, though,” Feferi said. “Most of the other ghosts I’ve met are so young!  Some of them never even made it past their First Gates.”

“So what, I’m just the first eligible tail you’ve seen?” Meulin teased.

Feferi’s cheeks puffed out and her fins twitched forward, for all the world giving her the actual appearance of a fish. It seemed to be an annoyed gesture, but subsided after a second.

“No!  But to be conch-nest, you’re the cutest.”

Oh. That wasn’t fair, but at least it was direct. Meulin liked direct. It was difficult sometimes to understand why trolls kept doing things they didn’t want (Rufioh and his quads) or wanting things they wouldn’t do (Kankri and almost everyone). She might be trying to get off the ‘nip, but there were times she’d thought everyone else in her session ought to light up because it was all. So needlessly. Purr-formative and furr-ustrating!  

In fic, she could write them giving into their desires and then show them the way everything could be. 

The question was, could she take that character direction  _ from herself? _

Meulin took a step into the surf’s edge. The neon waves skittered over her feet and she flailed a little. The water was so warm here, too. In a highblood romance, this would be the moment where the sea dweller swept their quad into their arms and carried them off to sea. Swim them into deeper waters and show them to a hidden island, bring them fish and coconuts and secret them away.

Meulin didn’t particularly think there were any other islands or even any coconuts, but this gorgeous troll could give her a rusty anchor and Meulin would gladly tie it to her tail.

Feferi stopped just a scant few steps away, still glowing with the residual neon of the water. Her  _ gill slits _ were fully visible in twin cut-outs windows on either side of her tight halter top. They were tinged magenta too, in a hue too brilliant to be just the water.

Like a stupid newbie fangirl who glomped without permission, Meulin reached a paw for them. 

Feferi caught her hand before it could connect and gave it a strong, if reassuring, squeeze.

"Sorry!" Meulin flailed with her other hand.  


The sea dweller's fins flared and for a moment Meulin was sure she was going to get bitten. Or worse, pity-papped, like so many highbloods did when they learned about her 'plight'. 

“Is this alright?” Feferi asked instead, modifying so she could sign one-handed too. “I don’t mean to make you uncom-fur-table.”

‘Uncomfurtable’. Feferi was even mirroring her quirk, the highest form of politeness when another troll was anxious. Except when it was a kismetic tease, pointing out how silly your quirk was, but Meulin didn’t think that was the case here. Feferi was so close and so open with her body language. Her long fingers kept playing between Meulin’s fingers, rolling them back and forth like a gentle echo of the waves.

Feferi’s own fingers had webbing between them. Meulin wanted them smothering her face.

Meulin twisted slightly so she could both hang onto Feferi’s hand and sign. Her stupid notebook was getting in the way so she shoved it between her legs.

“You aren’t fur-reaking me out,” Meulin said. “It’s just been a whale.” 

Did ‘whale’ actually sound like ‘while’?  Meulin didn’t always remember. Feferi seemed delighted with the sea pun though. Her entire body lit up and she bounced up on the tips of her toes, taking Meulin’s hand with her. She dropped it only long enough to speak. 

“Oh good!  I was worried. Sometimes I feel pike I come on too strong and I don’t mean too!!!  It’s just so different on [...]”

Meulin nodded. The last sign didn’t entirely translate, but from what she could tell it was the name for AU!Beforus. From what she knew, that entire planet had been a concupiscent-or-die fic.

“It’s okay,” she said. “I’ve been catching the stories. Mog, it’s kind of nice?  I get soooo tired of subtext.” 

“Me too!!  I just saw you and I thought, you’re cute, you look friendly, why don’t I say hi!  It’s a dream, what could really go wrong? And also…” 

Feferi looked down between her legs and Meulin nearly had nine pusher attacks before she remembered oh yeah, she had put her notebook there.

“I maybe?  Found one of your pages?”

The nine pusher attacks were back on.

“It was good!!” Feferi said quickly, looking at Meulin’s face. Her fingers flew like lightning. “I was cleaning up beach glass and I found it the other night and it wasn’t far from where you were writing and I wanted to return it. I didn’t do it for the [ _ some kind of fish _ ].”

“[ _ Some kind of fish _ ]?” Meulin mirrored back, distracted. 

“H-a-l-i-b-u-t. Hell of it. I’m sorry if that wasn’t okay!  I tried to save it but it also started raining, so.”

Feferi reached back into her still-dripping mane of hair and unstrapped something from her back -- a waterproof cork shoulderpack, it seemed. When she unscrewed the top, a rolled-up sheet of very familiar thermal paper fell out. 

It was streaked with faded magenta drips in a way that was extremely ironic, given that it was definitely torn from Meulin’s  _ olive _ notebook. 

_Aranea took another long pull from her_ _coconut acai_ _lemonade. The heat from the crystalline sand radiated through her entire being, making her already too-tight bikini feel like a brand. Maybe_ _her friends_ [smudged] _lowbloods could take this climate, but she was starting to roast from the inside out. She_ [more magenta smudge] _that foolish horse-troll who kept bringing her drinks_ [even more smudge] _was going to take it. Her lower belly was starting to ache a little, but the warmth made it strangely pleasant. Besides, there was no_ _loadgaper water closet_ _facility here._ [completely unintelligible streaks] _She could wait though. It wouldn’t ‘behoove’ her to lose her cool._

“Oh, this fic,” Meulin said. “I didn’t get very far with it.” 

She sighed. It wasn’t one of her best ideas, nor was it one of her worst. She’d gotten a few pages into it before she’d given up. At least nothing here should be too overtly  #triggering. The sexier scene was still intact in her notebook.

“Mog, everything I write has been coming out so trash!  Well. I know it shouldn’t actually be trash. Sorry for the litter.”

She thought guilty of the page she’d torn out earlier. She hadn’t thought about her garbage persisting. Usually when she was done with things she just...stopped noticing them in the dreamscape. She’d always assumed when they vanished, they were gone.

“It’s okay!” Feferi said. “I figured it you didn’t sea it or something.”

Her fins wiggled slightly. 

“Like I said, I personally piked it.”

Feferi leaned in, so close Meulin could feel the glitter shifting under both their weights.

“A lot.”

And that...was a revelation straight from a dream itself. If Meulin weren’t very sure she’d never this troll before, she’d honestly worry that writing powers were starting to override reality. She wasn’t ashamed of her niche fics -- in fact, she’d name several of them as her best pieces! - but she was also used to introducing kink slowly. 

Rule of prong when sharing your vision with someone, you wanted to start on remotely the same page. First, introduce the quad with a relatively tame concept. If they liked that, then you could talk tropes!  You wanted to ensure everybody was into the action before you kept moving. If they weren’t, you left it alone.

She hadn’t had the chance to show anyone her olive book before. Not even her ex-matesprit, because she hadn’t known that side of herself at the time. ‘Watersports’ went against her entire meowbeast quirk concept, and it had taken a while for her to accept it. 

Meulin licked her lips. Feferi  _ mirrored  _ it.

Oh, what the ‘shell’, to borrow a new quirk.

“Did you want to see some more?” Meulin said. “You can get an idea of what I’m into from the #hashtags on the covers.”

Feferi slid both hands briefly up Meulin’s arms, drying her fingers gently on Meulin’s shirt and leaving shiverings in their wake. 

“I would love to,” Feferi said. 

She held eye contact as she reached down and tugged the notebook from between Meulin’s legs. The butt of her wrist rocked ever-so-slightly against Meulin’s mons.

Mogmogmog. 

Meulin fumbled through her sylladex for the rest of them, scarcely able to draw the right symbols on her palm husk. Mog, Yap-To-Text was still on but all it had registered was [background noise] [laughter] [high background noise] [concupiscent purr ( _ ❤︎) _ ].  _ Concupiscent purr. _ Meulin pressed a hand to her own chest to be sure but no, she wasn’t the one making that sound. Unless the waves were messing with the hearduct,  _ Feferi was over there openly purring.  _

If she touched Feferi’s chest she would  _ feel it _ . 

Meulin dumped every last notebook she had onto the sand and pawed for her proudest three, the current flush-book, her previous flush-book, and the olive-colored kink one. All of them were heavily covered in Sharpie, alternately her handwriting and Kankri’s. 

“I’d look at the olive-colored tags,” Meulin suggested. “The red ones are. Suggestions from my editor.”

Lengthy suggestions. That uh, didn’t match the contents of the actual fics since Kankri wouldn’t read them, but they were certainly detailed warnings about the content of the warnings!  Meulin supposed that counted for something.

Feferi didn’t seem fussed about the red tags at all. Her manicured claws were skimming some of the more exciting warnings. NSFP flushed tags, like _in-game concupiscent action_ and _horn holding_  and mog. _Watersports_ , all of the bullet points under watersports, and she didn’t think it was just the ocean quirk that had attracted Feferi’s eye. Meulin also had ‘spraying’ and ‘territory marking’ and other kinks that specifically aligned with her own quirk. 

Meulin tapped Feferi’s arm to get her attention.

“It would be pawsome to make any of these canon,” she said, quivering only a little. “If you want. Only if you want.”

Feferi knelt down slowly in the sand, pushing the notebooks aside onto a dry ridge. When she looked up the line of Meulin’s body, her smile was enough to be its own moon.

“I de-fin-itely want,” she said. “Do  _ you _ want to put your hands on my horns, please?”

“Mogmogomg,” Meulin flailed, not even spelling all the letters in order but how was she supposed to stay quirk compliant with  _ that _ on the table. Feferi’s strong hands were sliding up her legs, flipping up her skirt, and what else could she do but obey?

“Push them if you need me to stop, okay?” Feferi said, and nudged Meulin’s hands to catch the tips of those impressive horns. They were so well polished they felt like jade. 

“Okay?”

Meulin nodded and gave Feferi’s horns a small tug for good measure. Feferi ‘nodded’ right along with her and oh. Mog, the power of that, steering another troll so intimately right where she wanted them. A sea dweller, the rarest of their kind, who was still  _ dripping wet _ and about to be wetter, if her fascination with Meulin’s fic was accurate.

Meulin had  _ needed  _ this.

Feferi leaned back just enough so Meulin could see her speak.

“I’m going to dive on you,” Feferi said. “If you need to let go - either way - go for it!” 

Her fins wiggled - maybe the sea dweller equivalent of a wink?

“I like girls getting me wet.”

Meulin nodded frantically, holding Feferi’s horns like they were the only thing keeping her on the ground. Mog if she had planned for this she could have been drinking a gallon of milk and pissed herself right on Feferi’s cheeks!  She was even wearing the perfect panties. Her Trollolcat pair had a pawprint design up near the band, but the lower half was simple white. They would stain so beautifully olive if she could only find it in herself to let go.

Feferi squeezed her eyes shut and leaned in, rubbing her entire face over Meulin’s mons. Meulin chirped and she had no idea how loud that little squeak but it felt so good thrumming in her chest. Her own purr was starting up hard, a bone-deep vibration that kept her grounded as Feferi’s nose--then  _ tongue _ \-- dragged down the seam of her lips through the cloth and Meulin wasn’t going to be able to survive this. They had barely even started and she was already shivering from the inside out. 

Feferi mouthed at her for a few more minutes, pushing her blunt tongue over and over the increasingly sensitive crux of Meulin’s labia. Her crotch was so wet with spit it even felt a bit like she’d wet herself, but the relief associated with it failed to arrive. Instead, Meulin could only wiggle as Feferi’s mouth was teasing but not quite enough. She was just about to let go of Feferi’s horns and shove her panties down when she felt cool claws prickling at her waistband. Meulin rocked her hips forward and held them fast as Feferi rolled them off.

“Whale, you’re gorgeous,” Feferi said up at her, grinning.

“You’re gorgeous on your knees,” Meulin said before she could stop herself. She seized Feferi’s horns again immediately, blood rushing to her face. Mog, she just told a  _ Heiress  _ to submit to her!  Even on Beforus, that would have been kinky. A weird fangirl cullbait wanting their coddler beneath them. She got the sense that on AU!Beforus, it was worse.

Thankfully, Feferi’s shoulders shook. 

“I’m glad you pike it,” she said. 

She curled her first finger into a knuckle and dragged it the length of Meulin’s vulva, slipping it gently between Meulin’s slick lips. When she pulled her hand back to talk, her finger glistened with  _ olive _ .

“Do you want me to keep going?” 

Meulin nodded like her head might come off.

“Get you wet?  Make you wet yourself, and me?”

“Yesyesyes,” Meulin said. “Though. I might not be able to pee. I haven’t been drinking very much.”

She didn’t have to if she didn’t think of it, and she hadn’t been thinking about it because. Not even in her own olive notebook had she ever expected  _ she _ would be the star of something this hot, this amazing. A  _ self insert _ . 

“That’s okay.” Feferi said. “Do you want me to?”

“YES!” She absolutely fangirl-screeched with that one and it was probably ear-splitting and she genuinely didn’t care.

Feferi teased the blunt edge of her knuckle again, up and in to grind on Meulin’s clit. A lightning flash of pleasure shot through Meulin’s belly and everything in her lower half tensed down and in. It was almost the same pressure she got when she was starting to need to pee and she was wearing jeans that were too tight, the same muscles bearing down and holding.

If Feferi could get her this hot with just this little stimulation, what would it be like to have a whole finger in her?  Feferi’s tongue? What if Feferi had Meulin’s piss all down her face?? 

Feferi pulled back and licked her gleaming fingers clean, and Meulin almost forgot to let go of Feferi’s horns when she  _ stood _ .

“Do you want it on you?” Feferi asked. 

“Yes??” Mog, this really was a dream come true. She had so many fics with Bashful First Time peeing, where she had to assume the characters would be shy and unable to perform right away. Forums had always said that it was hard to piss outside of an ablution block at first. The instinct to conceal one’s scent in gaperslime or sand was just too high.

“You can?”

“It’s super easy for seadwellers,” Feferi said, apparently picking up on Meulin’s train of thought. “We’re all-waves in the water, we have to go  _ somewhere _ !  How do you think the fish do it?”

She leaned in and licked a cool stripe up the side of Meulin’s neck. When she pulled back, Meulin stumbled after.

“And when we get out, we have to go  _ so _ many times to balance ourselves out,” Feferi said. 

Her grin was wicked, a shark’s smile, and Meulin’s purr ramped up triple-time.

“I’ve been holding it this whole time,” Feferi said. “In case you wanted to sea. I can probably go more than once. More than  _ ‘pounce’. _ ”

Feferi winked. Meulin took her at her word.

Meulin  _ pounced. _

She wrapped her arms around the sea dweller and pulled her close, chest to chest,  _ feeling _ Feferi’s purr echo hers back. Their frequencies weren’t that far off, shifting as they grappled with each other. Seeking resonance. Feferi was so damp all over and her back muscles were so  _ thick _ . Meulin kneaded at them and dragged her fangs all the way down Feferi’s neck, feeling the way Feferi’s breath caught beneath Meulin’s lips. 

Mog, Feferi was so beautiful. Beautiful and confident and willing to give them both what they wanted, no hidden hang-ups or deus ex machina. For once Meulin didn’t need to take notes or plot what should happen next. 

She pulled back just long enough to push a knee between Feferi’s legs, possibly growling. 

“Piss on me,” she signed one-handed. The gesture wasn’t even a proper word, but a very rude gesture common to every Beforan language. “Then I’m going to strip you down, and you’re going to pee again where I can  _ watch you _ .”

Feferi’s head tipped back and she wailed, open-mouthed. The shape of her lips was a glorious ‘ah’. Meulin reached up and seized one thick horn, reining her in, and Feferi crushed their lips together.

A trickle, then a burst of abruptly new liquid gushed over Meulin’s bare thigh and she had never felt a rush like this.

She held Feferi there until the stream subsided, kissing her hard enough she could swear she tasted her own scent on the back of Feferi’s tongue. The sea dweller looked dazed, fuck-drunk, when Meulin hadn’t even touched her yet. Her big fins were rippling like they were caught in a high wind and oh yes. Meulin was going to wreck her,  _ claim  _ her, empty bladder be damned.

She wasn’t the bubble’s most experienced fic writer -- or a Mage of Heart -- for nothing.

Meulin leaned into the tall, solid troll’s embrace as she worked at the clasp holding Feferi’s little black halter top together. She had been in this position once with another troll who wore obscenely complicated body suits. She could remember a night where she’d been hitting the Faygo and she’d stumbled getting up and falling against them had been like a punch directly to the bladder. She’d needed to go so bad and her lower belly had been so tight and -- oh yes, there it was, the faintest beginnings of that same pressure. If she could remember it, she could  _ use _ it, and that memory was going to work for her all night. 

The hooks finally gave way and Feferi’s tank peeled down her front, revealing a gorgeous patch of incredibly dark skin. Feferi’s shoulders and limbs must be insanely moon-bleached, because the covered parts of her body were a full two shades more gray.

“You are so pretty,” Meulin said. She traced the moontan lines all the way around Feferi’s armpits and down by her gills. That purr only got stronger. 

The bottom half proved more complicated than expected, as Feferi’s ‘tank’ turned out to be a bodysuit that extended beneath her skirt. Mog, Feferi had peed right through that!  Meulin had half a mind to leave it on. She settled for undoing the skirt first. It unhooked in the front and then came apart like a wrap-around cape, plopping to the ground in a wet, heavy pile.

Meulin traced her claws all around Feferi’s half-shorn bodysuit, kneading over her lower belly. Feferi bit her lip and shifted from foot to foot, seemingly uncomfortable. Looked like she hadn’t just been talking big about needing to piss multiple times. Or maybe she’d only peed a little bit and then (mog) squeezed it off. Maybe Meulin could coax her to leak. 

The urgency was starting to build for herself now too, an line of pressure down low just above Meulin’s mons. Good. She remembered what it felt like to pee for a few seconds and then clamp down on purpose. She’d had to do it for medicoddler appointments, when they’d run five thousand tests to see if they could bring her hearing back (they couldn’t). That wasn’t a sexy memory but it was still hers and right now the ache of it was more than welcome. 

Feferi tapped her arm and Meulin looked up. 

“Clean me up?” she asked, beaming. It took Meulin a second to realize what she meant. Most of the piss was still streaked on Meulin’s leg, but some magenta smears were coating the insides of Feferi’s thighs. Probably she’d gotten backed up within that tight bodysuit and the fabric had overflowed in every direction. Less a stream and more of a shower.

Feferi shrugged apologetically.

“If it stays too long it does get itchy.”

Meulin kissed her way over Feferi’s jaw, then released her, grinning. 

“That wasn’t rain on my fic, was it?” Meulin said. “That magenta was all you.”

Feferi gave her a sheepish grin.

“You caught me!”

“Hook, line, and sinker,” Meulin agreed, though her pusher was thundering out of control. “Tell me about it?”

She sunk to her own knees as she pulled Feferi’s bodysuit the rest of the way down, then off. Feferi tapped her head and Meulin looked up expectantly. 

“Whale, I was reading it at hive by myself,” Feferi said. “And I started realizing I could use a good clam-down. So I got a whole two litre of soda and I climbed in the shower.”

“Shower?”

“Ablution trap.”

Feferi grinned.

“I didn’t let myself come until right when I was peeing,” she said. “All over my own hand. I shoal’d have moved the page but. It was so satisfying to spray it.”

Meulin bit a kiss into Feferi’s plump thigh.

“That is so hot,” she moaned. Out loud even, though she doubted it was intelligible. 

“I want to read more,” Feferi said. “You’re so good at it. So cray-ative. I was reading about laying on that beach and I could feel it. I wanted to be so full I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to piss myself all over that lawnring chair. I wanted someone to keep bringing me drinks.”

Feferi stroked the crest of Meulin’s head.

“Someone pike you.”

Meulin attacked the dribbles remaining on the inside of Feferi’s legs. Feferi’s piss didn’t taste like anything other than brine. Maybe it was brine?  She didn’t know much about how sea dweller anatomy worked, especially when they were in water. The sea dwellers in her session had mostly immersed in drama.

Feferi rapped Meulin’s horn.

“I can pee on you again?”

So polite, like she was the cullbait and Meulin was the coddler. Again, that rush of heat. Meulin hadn’t realized how much it would affect her. 

Maybe she needed to write low/high quads more often.

“In a minute,” Meulin said. “I want you to hold off again. In fact, I want you to hold it in until I’m done with you. You don’t pee until I make you come.” 

She also wanted Feferi back under her so she could piss on her too. Make her come, then mark her. She wanted it more than she’d wanted anything in a long time, and the growing memory of her own need was only the ‘nip on the treat. Her lower belly was starting to throb a little, faster than it naturally would, and all she could think of was those fins tickling between her thighs.

Feferi’s white eyes went wide and her cheeks puffed. Surprised-fish this time. 

“...is that okay?” Meulin asked.

“It’s amazing,” Feferi said. She giggled, then squirmed her thighs together right in front of Meulin’s face. Mog. “You’re such a perfect catfish. You have  _ claws _ .”

Meulin grinned and flexed her fingers.

“You saying you want me to scratch your itch?”

“Please.” 

“Then  _ get on down here _ .”

Meulin reached her hands up, and when Feferi accepted them, it was like connecting a circuit.

The glitter-sand wasn’t the most comfortable surface to lie on, but Meulin had fought that battle before. She didn’t need her laserpen to imagine the lines that would spread a beach blanket out beneath them. Copy-pasta it twice for good measure. Feferi jumped and nearly fell down, not sat down, when the sands shifted and gave way to a thick nyancat blanket. 

“Can I take your top?” Feferi asked.

“You can  _ try _ ,” Meulin grinned, and pounced her flat to her back.

She swung a leg over Feferi’s hips and giggled as they fake-wrestled with the edge of her top. Mog, she could tell from the state of Feferi’s biceps that if the highblood really wanted she could rip the cloth right off her, but it was more fun to play like they were equal strength. Their purrs kept stuttering with the gasps of their laughter and Meulin could use that memory too.

Imagine that every wiggle jostled an increasingly overfull bladder. Imagine that she had to tense her vulva to keep herself from leaking with every peal of laughter. At a certain point it stopped needing concentration and became what was happening. Yeah, she could pee now. The feeling was urgent enough. If she just waited longer though, she could take it to that next level. Right to the edge where pleasure met pain. 

She ground her weight down on Feferi’s stomach too, ecstatic when the sea dweller went cross-eyed.

“Okay!  Okay! I give up!” Feferi flailed. 

Meulin shifted back just enough to let up and whipped off her own shirt. All she was wearing now was her skirt, fanned over where she was straddling Feferi’s hips. 

“Do you need to go?” Meulin asked.

“I can hold it,” Feferi insisted.

“Are you paw-sitive?”

Another quick press. Feferi moaned with her full body, kicking both arms and legs out against the blanket.

“If you piss too fast, I’m not going to get you off,” Meulin teased. It was a little pitch, but mog, Feferi’s angry little pufferfish expression was too cute.

“You purr-omised!”

Oh no. There Feferi was again, busting out Meulin’s speech. It was too cute. All of this was too cute. 

At the end of this night (if nights ever ended here), she might have to ask: could they draw a heart when they added Feferi to Meulin’s grid?

“I did purr-omise,” Meulin said. “Time to deli-fur.”

She slipped a hand beneath the drape of her own skirt, but it wasn’t Feferi’s vulva she was after. Meulin dragged a finger between the thick folds of her own labia, coating it with her own slickness. Mog, she was so wet. She was also starting to ache with the need to pee, made worse when she pressed near her clit. She knew how good she looked when she was touching herself. She’d recorded herself on webcam.

Feferi’s gaze was locked on her expression, openly hungry.

“Are you touching yourself?” Feferi asked.

Meulin nodded. She drew her slick hand out and pressed it to Feferi’s lower belly. When she kneaded there, Feferi writhed again.

“Do you feel how wet I am for you?” Meulin asked with her other hand. “Do you feel how much I want it?”

She plunged her hand between Feferi’s legs, cupping the mound of Feferi’s mons. Feferi’s head tipped back until her horns were nearly hooked into the blanket. She looked amazing spread out like this, a great giant felled. 

“You don’t pee until you come,” she reminded Feferi, and curled her own fingers into knuckles so she could seek Feferi’s clit. 

There was hardly any resistance at all as she worked her crooked fingers between Feferi’s lips. Feferi’s mouth was pursed in tiny little ‘o’s’ and she was so turned on she was sopping. She kept bucking her hips, forcing Meulin’s fingers down lower, almost in. Mog, Meulin wanted to push her fingers all the way inside but her claws weren’t sanded down enough. What if she hurt her?  The best she could do was give Feferi the girth of two bent fingers dipping in together. 

_ Please _ , Feferi mouthed, and Meulin could read it clear as moonlight.

One hand on Feferi’s lower belly, pressing on her bladder. The other gliding up and down, over and around Feferi’s clit, as deep inside as a hand could go. Feferi was clutching the blanket for dear life, kneading into Meulin’s thighs, not so slowly coming apart. Each buck sent a zing through Meulin’s own bladder and she was starting to regret her own creativity but how could she stop now?  She needed this, needed it for Feferi. And for herself.

Needed to come. Needed to piss. At a certain point the ache was one. A few drops spattered down onto Feferi and no no no, she had to hold out too!

Feferi was starting to tense up like she was inflating beneath Meulin’s body, chest and belly and legs all at once. Her vulva tightened on Meulin’s fingers like a vise and Meulin found herself making nameless noise. Breathe in, vibrate out with her vocal cords. They were almost there, so very close. 

Feferi slapped her arm and Meulin snapped her head up,  prepared to stop but unprepared for the look on Feferi’s face. When Feferi fluttered around her, she knew.

She had obeyed Meulin’s demand to watch her come.

Meulin nodded as hard as she could and Feferi arched even harder, sending a spike of pure lightning straight through Meulin’s belly. Oh mog, it was so hard to pee when you were turned on, and Feferi was trying to pee while  _ coming _ . Meulin couldn’t hold it any longer either but it was physically impossible, it was like extruding through a very narrow straw, and she gasped as the pee started, then stopped. And Fef --

Those few rivulets spattered on Feferi’s legs and it looked like Feferi came again, arching her back and raking the edge of the blanket aside. Glitter arced up everywhere, a disorienting spray of light, and then cool liquid gushed all over Meulin’s hand, all over the blanket, everywhere. It was distracting enough that Meulin let go too, peeing all over Feferi’s legs. It was a flood.

It was  _ beautiful _ . 

Eventually, the long rush subsided. Feferi collapsed down on the blanket, fins still twitching. She looked like she was halfway to melting. Meulin kissed all over her broad smile. 

Feferi nudged her to pull back so she could speak.

“You haven’t got yours yet,” Feferi said. Her signs were all dozey and languid, more than a little uncoordinated. If they had sopor, she was certain Feferi would be all the way to sleep. Maybe Meulin could remember that for her, too. A luxurious ‘coon, the best sopor. Anything that memory currency could dream up.

Meulin shook her head. 

“Later. It’s all right.”

And it was. She was going to need some time to process, maybe. There was so much that had happened so quickly. Had she come?  Had she not come? The rollercoaster of making herself pee, then the way Feferi had reacted when she did, could fuel lifetime of fics. Everything still ached from the waist on down and she couldn’t tell if it was from holding it, or from holding back, or just the overall whiplash of this whole evening.

Feferi propped herself up on one elbow, brows knitted.

“But...you do want there to be a later?”

Meulin nuzzled Feferi’s cheek. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “If you do.” 

“Of course!!”

“Good,” Meulin licked her fish’s cheek again, chin and neck also for good measure.

There were so many things she wanted to try. So many things she’d never known she wanted to do. She’d never pounced a girl like that before. Never bossed a highblood around. So many firsts packed into a short moment, and all she could think about was how many more fics they hadn’t yet tried.

For the first time in a long time, Meulin was  _ inspired _ .

Feferi wrinkled her nose, spreading her legs a little farther apart. 

“We’re going to have to go for a swim,” she said. “I’m so sticky!”

She flicked her fins.

“You know, I can also breathe underwater,” Feferi said. She made a very particular gesture with her tongue between her fingers. “‘Kitty’ much indefinitely.”

“I have a fic about that,” Meulin grinned.


End file.
